There is that...

Another good illustration from church today, this time from a guest speaker from a predominantly black sister church to one of the churches I have been frequenting down here (Note: I am afraid I cannot match his delivery in any medium, much less in print on a blog.  He brought about a 20-person contingent from his home church along for his guest preaching, and (as you might expect) there were ample "Amens" and "yesses" from his contingent which, combined with his delivery, made this story way better live than it will be via blog).  He recently bought a new HP printer and, as he unpacked one of the ink jet cartridges, a small piece of plastic broke loose from the cartridge, loosing a spring from the assembly.  He tried to insert the cartridge regardless, but there was no way the cartridge would stay inside the printer.  He ended up phoning HP looking for an alternate strategy he could use to insert the cartridge, a tool he could use to re-insert the spring -- anything he might be able to do to fix the problem.  The customer service rep's response: "There's nothing you can do.  We'll just send you a new cartridge".  The theological connection: when you have a problem, don't rely on yourself and pull out all the stops to solve it yourself - talk to your manufacturer first.

Seeing as I exposed my life-long passion for signs a couple of posts ago, it is perhaps not shocking to you that I tend to notice (and enjoy photographing) odd signs from the various places I have been.  I will warn you that a couple of these signs are perhaps only funny to me (in particular #3 - maybe you had to be there and/or be slightly mentally disturbed) - proceed at your own risk.

So, without further ado, my Favourite Seven Signs Around the World (in ascending order).  Why seven?  Because those were all the really good ones I could remember.

7) The "helpful" North End Boston road signs - as I mentioned before, the Big Dig isn't quite done up there, and as a result there are a couple of "detours" (to put it mildly).  Perfectly clear, particularly when you're driving by at 50km/h.

 

6) Close to Hana, Maui - the funny/terrifying part here is that there were about 50 people swimming as you walked down to the beach.  Apparently scare tactics in Hawaii are not that effective.

 

5) Hilo central park on the Big Island, Hawaii - a very worthy sign, no doubt, it would definitely hurt.

 

4) New York City (last weekend) - perhaps the most futile sign I have ever seen.  I think my favourite part is thinking about what happens if the cops actually catch someone violating this law... the sirens go on, which I'm sure is MUCH quieter than the honking, keeping the streets of NYC a quiet and serene place for generations to come.

3) OK, here's the one you might have difficulty finding the humour in.  This is actually a tale of two signs - the first one was seen at the entrance to a hiking trail close to Hana, Maui leading to a Hawaiian heiau, the central worship site of the Polynesian people.  The second one was at the exit to the heiau trail:

Collectively, here's what I think these signs direct you to do: sacrifice the child accompanying you on the walk to the heiau and walk back by yourself.  Makes sense, no?  Yes, I know what you're thinking... why on earth would I notice that?  Good question.  My brain works in mysterious ways.

2) Apparently molten lava prefers to drive on the autoban - 2 miles away from an active lava flow, Hawaii Volcanoes National Park, Big Island

 

Ten years ago, this speed limit sign was on the road connecting the two ends of the Volcano Park - however, the volcano had other ideas and buried the road in approximately seven feet of molten lava.  They haven't even bothered replacing the road yet because the lava flows are still coming.

1) Brussels, Belgium - the clear-cut #1 on my list - but you have to look for it:

Yes, that is a "No Waffles" sign.  Actually, in the context, it makes a bit of sense... the tacky souvenir shop owner next door to the waffle counter didn't want people blocking his entrance.  The even more ironic part about this photo was that, in order to take it, I had to stand in front of his shop while eating my waffle. 

Honorable mention: the Hawaiian Airlines sign which showed you the maximum dimensions of your carry-on luggage AND your carry-on surfboard.

A couple of updates from previous blog posts for you:

1) U-Haul eventually did refund me the proper amount of money in American funds.  Apparently, it is possible for at least one person in that company to use a calculator to multiply by a decimal number and make a currency conversion.  Also, at long last, I actually have money in my bank account here (it is possible... eventually...) and my first post-doctoral fellowship cheque has arrived from the Canadian government (thank you, taxpayers of Canada), so things are looking up (i.e. I can actually afford to pay my bills).

2) I checked out another new church today -- although it was perhaps the most disorganized and random service I have ever attended, the church is (1) really close to me (2) a nice size - 150-200 people or so and (3) much friendlier than the other places I've gone.  Really, I'm down to two choices - one that's huge, very polished, has a ton of people roughly in my age group, but doesn't seem to be that friendly (with evening services), another that's small, seemingly disorganized, has significantly fewer 20-something people, but seems to be much friendlier (with morning services).  I'm checking out a small group at the massive church this week (confused yet?) - we'll see how it goes.  I guess the good news is that there are two decent choices to be made at least.

3) I'll probably be starting up my lab work in earnest this week - I added one more project trying to make flexible coatings for medical devices which have anti-fungal properties (apparently fungal infections are a huge problem for devices like catheters).  I have, however, already awakened the political forces in the lab fighting over my time (not necessarily because I am special, more because I am free).  It's actually really awkward for me (being caught in the middle of the power struggles) and, seeing as everybody ultimately works for the same professor, it seems really unnecessary and unproductive.  I think balancing the ambitions of the sub-bosses in the lab is going to perhaps be a bigger challenge than the science... and perhaps in the end a more useful educational experience.

Today, I did one of my favourite things - driving randomly without any particular destination or plan.  No, really, stay with me here.  In my humble opinion (and this isn't just the Y chromosome talking, stereotypes aside), I have always had a pretty good sense of direction.  And by "always", I mean "always".  My parents are convinced I learned to read by memorizing road signs from the Ontario Driver's Handbook (which I "read" at age 3).   That's right, forget the whole "See Dick.  See Jane" garbage, skip right to Highway Traffic Act.  At age 8, I was the official navigator on our family road trips, based on genuine skill and not (only) because I was a pain in the neck and I needed something to keep me busy.  So, random driving unites a skill I seem to possess (direction) with my desire to explore new places.  Road tripping is indeed one of my favourite things to do -- I think my "dream trip" is still to drive across the United States and back through Canada -- primarily because I enjoy stopping at the most random places imaginable along the way.  Indeed, many of the most interesting places I have seen have been a result of either randomly stumbling across something or deciding on a whim to follow a sign that sounded somewhat cool. 

So, I had already explored most of the towns to the north of Cambridge in the week I was here prior to starting at MIT; today was the "south of the Charles River" random driving experience.  Three hours later, I had (without consulting a map), managed to explore all of downtown Boston and four of the surrounding cities.  I will admit that the North End of Boston (where most of the tourists hang out, up by the Quincy Market and the Harbour) did confuse me a little - the Big Dig is still happening up there, with the old overhead expressway dismantled but not yet transformed into anything attractive/logical - but all in all, a very fun afternoon of city exploring.  And not one wrong turn.  Of course, when you don't have a plan, not making a wrong turn turns out to be a very easy task.

So, I've been in Boston for four weeks now and have yet to hit most of the major tourist attractions like Quincy Market, the North End, and the Boston Harbour.  Therefore, the obvious thing for me to do last weekend would be... to go to New York City!

Well, in my defence, I have always wanted to go to New York City, inspired particularly recently by two different factors.  First, I am a huge fan of (HIDE MY FACE IN SHAME) "The Apprentice", and as all you Apprentice fans out there know (there must be ONE of you at least), every episode of the show features a slow, low-swooping shot of the TrumpJet or the TrumpChopper skimming the majestic skyline of NYC.  Second, I am a huge fan of building 3D puzzles in my spare time, and by far my proudest accomplishment (the piece de resistance of the 3D puzzle world) was my successful construction of the 3184-piece Lower Manhattan skyline.  I attached a picture of it below (sadly, including two significant buildings which are no longer with us), beside the "real" skyline picture I took from the Staten Island Ferry. 

 

(OK, imagine the green carpeting is not there.  It is totally busting my proud comparison here).

So, after building Lower Manhattan building-by-building over four days, I almost felt like I'd been there even before I was actually there.  However, being there was actually quite a lot better, thanks largely to my most excellent tour guide, Ashley, who is yet another great reason to visit NYC.  I always thought I was a bit of a crazy tourist in terms of walking insane distances and seeing massive swaths of area in one day, with "Paris except the Louvre in one day" and the "Big Island Hawaii Circumferential Tour in one day" being perhaps my proudest accomplishments.  However, Ashley took my craziness and jacked it up to a whole new level of insanity.  In two days (12 hours on Saturday, six hours on Sunday), we somehow managed to walk 37 kilometres (at least according to Ashley's pedometer, which we tested skeptically after it showed a 27km travel distance on Saturday alone and found it to be in perfect working order) and see Grand Central Station, the UN, the Chrysler Building, Fifth Avenue, Rockerfeller Centre, Radio City Music Hall, Central Park, the American Museum of Natural History, Madison Square Garden, the Empire State Building, Soho, Greenwich Village, Washington Square Park, Union Square, Broadway, the Hello Deli, Times Square, City Hall, the Brooklyn Bridge, Wall Street, the Statue of Liberty, Staten Island, and the World Trade Centre site.  Phew!  Outside of severe problems getting up from the subway car on the way back out to Yonkers on Sunday afternoon (my aging aching bones...), a weekend of fantastic fun.  Plus, after being surrounded by strangers here in Boston for the last month and constantly meeting new people, it was really great to reconnect with a good friend (something I definitely needed).  I have always loved the quote Ashley appends on the bottom of her e-mails: "In places familiar, we find comfort; in people familiar, we find ourselves" - it is entirely true.

Stuff I found surprising/impressive about NYC: (1) It costs $30 to go to the top of the Empire State Building - needless to say, I will have to be content with looking over the top of my puzzle for the aerial view for the time being  (2) the World Trade Centre site is shockingly small, although still quite poignant - I actually couldn't really bring myself to take a picture of it, thinking about how much the world has changed over the past five years based on what happened in that block.  The new Freedom Tower (nickname: "Bigger!  Better!  Larger Target!") is now under construction, but it is still more than a construction site  (3) Wall St. is more like a side street - nothing like the major avenue of American finance I was expecting  (4) Central Park is like nothing I have ever seen, in an entirely good way.  It's amazingly diverse in terms of geography and activities, is absolutely colossial, is eerily separated from the city (it's distinctly quieter in the park just 15 seconds away from the road) and is truly a destination - name a park in Canada (or Ontario anyway) where you would intentionally go to spend the whole day.  It's also fun to people watch - random roller skater shows, random guys trying to show off for girls by playing shirtless Frisbee... kind of a big sociological experiment really  (5) Times Square is a garish dump - a garish dump you must go to see if you're in NYC, but a garish dump nonetheless  (6) New York is an amazing city of neighbourhoods - if you walk 10 minutes in any direction from where you are standing (and, believe me, we walked 10 minutes in EACH direction, so I know of what I speak), it's like you are in a totally different city with different architecture, different shops, different residents.  It's almost like you are in about twenty different cities all in one day. 

Anyway, as usual, I was obscenely trigger happy and have posted photos of highly varying quality here for your enjoyment if you so choose (Hawaii pictures are also in that folder if you're interested).

I heard two good illustrations over the past few days regarding the ever-so-related topics of forgiveness and scientific reductionism (both in a church though, interestingly enough).  Thought I'd share them:

- A young boy was visiting the Washington Monument and walked up to one of the park staff to disclose that he was interested in purchasing the monument to bring back to his home.  The park ranger, wanting to humour the child, asked the boy how much money he had in his wallet.  The boy took his wallet out, counted up his change, and announced he had $1.88 to offer in exchange for the monument.  The park ranger replied: "Well, first, the monument isn't for sale.  Second, even if it were for sale, it's worth much more money than you could afford to pay.  Third, since you are a citizen of the United States, it already belongs to you."   The analogy to forgiveness: we can't buy it (God offers it to us freely), we can't earn it (i.e. there's nothing we can give up that would be enough to buy our forgiveness unless God had made the perfect sacrifice for us), and, upon accepting Christ, we have become citizens of God's kingdom and have received forgiveness through Christ's sacrifice.  I thought the analogy was both cute and beautifully accurate. 

- A scientist found an old vacuum tube radio in his attic.  He turned it on, but it didn't work.  Being curious, he proceeded to take the radio apart and found that one of the vacuum tubes was broken.  He went out and found a replacement vacuum tube at a garage sale, installed it, and flipped the switch to hear voices once again being projected from the old radio.  Therefore, the only conclusion one could scientifically draw was that the voice must have been inside the vacuum tube; that is, the voice was missing before he put the tube in and present after the tube was installed.  Sounds silly, but it's a great illustration of the idea of scientific reductionism, the idea of studying a larger functioning system by studying a component of the complex system in isolation.  This is a classic problem in studying the human body - it's so amazingly complex that, in order for us to get any idea what's going on, we have to break our study down into very small and specific components (i.e. one type of cell or one type of protein) and attempt to figure out what it does, somewhat independent of everything else going on.  This illustration actually came up in a round table I attended last night regarding whether the scientific and religious worldviews can ever coincide.  The point behind this illustration is that science can't possibly understand all the interrelationships and complexity which exist in nature simply because we can't design a valid experiment to test them (i.e. the bottom line - faith is part of science too).

1) I admit it, I've done this.  And I have gotten strange looks from other drivers.  And I was solidly in the 81% of Ontarians who kept going anyway.   I think the only real surprise in the survey was that 34% of Canadians couldn't admit that they do "car-a-oke".  My only question: how on earth did Tom Cochrane's "Life is a Highway" not make this list?  That is the PERFECT driving song - both grooving and topical!

2) I have always been amazed/appalled at the competitive eating circuit, but the physics of this are truly odd.  Let's analyze: a 160-pound guy eats 58 bratwursts in 10 minutes.  That's 16820 calories, 1450 grams of fat and - get this - 19 DAYS worth of the recommended amount of sodium IN 10 MINUTES.  And he does this for a living.  And he's 160 pounds.  I think my favourite part of the article is the quote from the winner, Takeru Kobayashi of Japan: "They're good.  I want to take some home".   That's what I would say after eating 6 sausages/minute.  Another good read: the International Federation of Competitive Eating website.  I got indigestion just reading the thing.